Space Dinosaur made out with a full Christmas keg, several bottles of the finest holiday liquors, and a useless bag of craptacular stuff.  He made it home and kicked back with a cocktail, hoping to get some well earned rest.  Unfortunately within minutes, bags of letters from whiny kids started pouring in...

Space Dinosaur figured if he drank enough, he could forget all about this materialistic bullshit.   Unfortunately, young primates seem to have adapted skills in persistent nagging unparalleled elsewhere in the animal kingdom.  Realizing that the amount of fat in all of these kids would surely make him sick if he tried to eat them all, Space Dinosaur decided that the quickest way to shut them up was to parse out the bag of assorted trinkets amongst them.  "What the hell," thought Space Dinosaur, "I don't need this garbage anyway, but first one more martini..."