Encounter with a Saucy Santa

A COSMIC CHRISTMAS WITH SPACE DINOSAUR

Chapter 1: Encounter with a Saucy Santa

Twas a week or so before Christmas and out in the cold void of space, Space Dinosaur was sober. Way too fucking sober. So, he decided to swing by the northern pole of a medium sized, watery planet in the Milky Way galaxy to hit up this fat bastard named Santa for some booze. As you all should know, Santa is a drunk. That protruberance around his midsection is not from eating Christmas cookies, it a ever expanding beer gut. Wake up kids, the guy's a fat, alcoholic sloth. Anyway, the fat man had hit the sauce a little too hard and started spewing insults at Space Dinosaur. This, of course, was very unwise...

[audio = Christmas Bells (partial, modified), Robert Gayler (public domain)]
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Well, Space Dinosaur scored his liquor, and headed home with a fat sack of Christmas booty. Fuck yeah. But don't worry boys and girls, Space Dinosaur has no use for toys. You can still wrap your opposable thumbs around some Christmas swag, you greedy little brats. Plus Space Dinosaur doesn't give a rat's ass whether you've been naughty or nice. Just readdress your Christmas lists to:

and maybe the Space Santasaurus will cram some of Santa's stash down your Christmas hole.