MY "FRIENDS" THE PARASITES

 

Meet my new "friends" Hentaigene.  They want to be the Gorillaz, but they are not.  They are more like the Village People for the 21st century.  These fucknuts recently sent me this message:

"I just let you know
I ve got two updated tracks for you
Click the below image to check em out!!!!"

I refuse to use auto-play enabled players on any of my pages as I think that people should be able to listen to whatever they want while they are at the computer.*  I think it's great for the typical MySpacer, but my army of techno-primate geeks and I are trying to do something rather different.  Despite this, I decided to check these jerks out.  They are from the UK.  You're English, learn to speak English you stupid jackasses!  Christ, your grammar is worse than the typical lazy-ass American!

I added them to my "friends" anyway (I figured what the hell, I tend to eat my "friends" so I can always use some more).  These monkey sucking dickheads put up this ridiculously huge image in my comments.  My screen resolution is set to 1280x1024.  The way I see it, if I have to use horizontal scroll on a website, the author needs to seriously rethink their design.  The assholes do ask, "Ps-is the advertisement too big???"  Come on dipshits, if you have to ask then the answer is probably yes.  I assume that you consider yourselves to be artists, so think like artists!  The only reason I haven't deleted this piece of crap yet is so that I have proof of your mad design skills.** 

I then decided to check out what was up with these guys.  It appears that they leave a message in the Gorillaz comments several times a day in a pathetic attempt to draw attention to themselves.  Are you familiar with the lamprey?  It is a parasitic jawless fish that attaches itself by the mouth to other fish, sucking out the host's own fishy goodness.  Hentaigene, you make the lamprey look like a minor botheration. 

Okay, I get that you're an underground band trying to make it in a pretty cutthroat industry, and are thus willing to whore yourselves out to whomever will listen.  Here's a tip, have a unique idea and don't try to knock off what someone who has made it big has already done.  Draw from multiple circles of influence and incorporate different aspects of these influences in interesting ways if you can’t come up with anything original. Most importantly, STOP SUCKING (remember the lamprey)!

Screw it.  You guys are clearly far too thick skulled and uninspired to do anything worthwhile.  Cheers assholes:


[Audio = Narcissus (partial)]

It seems to me that you jack-offs do have some potential, but you need to attempt a little originality and stop running around screaming, "Look at me, look at me, look at me!"  Also had you taken the time to look at any of the work that my computer monkeys have done on MySpace and on my website, you might have noticed the manner in which we incorporate music into our work as well as our attempts at maintaining a certain visual aesthetic [yes it is a bit primitive (what do you expect?  I'm a bloody dinosaur!), but it is definitely a well defined format].  Besides, while we are all supporters of the arts, I am not your pimp.  If you want me to be your pimp...well...bitch better have my money!

Addenda: 

*So one of my little anthropoid unix nerds just figured out how easy it is to disable autoplay on MySpace!  Those losers always make things so much more difficult than they need to be!  Anyway, I'm still not playing music on MySpace, even music I like, unless I decide I can work it into what I've already got going on here.  If you look closely enough, you'll understand what I'm doing and see where I'm coming from.

**Go ahead and leave me all as many comments (small pictures please) as you want so that we can bury this poorly thought out piece of garbage!

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