MY "FRIEND" VISUAL IMPAIRMENT

Meet my "friend" EYECANDY PROMOTIONS.  The way I see it, if you are going to refer to yourself as eyecandy, you should probably include a photo to back yourself up.  If you're dreadfully ugly you can always post a photo of someone else, a boob shot (with melons like those who cares what the rest of you looks like, or at least that's what this bitch seems to think), or a picture of you with a hot friend (one of these girls probably doesn't need to go online for dates) and people might mistake you for your hot friend.  Actually I agree that one's thoughts are more important than one's appearance (but I also wouldn't go calling myself eyecandy either), and EYECANDY isn't here for dates.  That's good too; online dating is creepy.  In fact online friend making of any kind is a little scary.  Seriously kids, DO NOT be that girl!  Personally, I'm just here for lunch.

EYECANDY is actually married and a "proud parent."  However, on her list of general interests, family comes in at #4.  Dancing is #2...hmmm...exactly what kind of dancing do you do?  All the bling (i.e. hideously gaudy, tasteless, sparkling crap) and the statement: "I ENJOY WORKING MY JOB IN WHICH I GET TO GO OUT AND GO TO BARS, CLUBS AND RESTURANTS AND ALSO LIQUOR STORES AND MEET ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE AND PROMOTE LIQUOR AND GET PAID TO HAVE FUN…" implies a certain type of dancing. 

EYECANDY also has one of those cut and paste "blog things" telling us all of the different aspects of her personality that are controlled by the day of her birth.  Perhaps you have heard of genetics?  I understand that environmental conditions might have something to do with it too, but I've never heard of any scientific evidence supporting a connection between birthday and behavior. 

Well EYECANDY, seeing as dancing is more important to you than your family, they might not miss you that much...


[Audio = Li'l Liza Jane (partial) by the Earl Fullers Famous Jazz Band (public domain)]

Although EYECANDY seemed to be a rather positive person, had she spent more time reading books and less time dancing, she might have known that lots of dinosaurs are carnivorous.

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