The I Can't Back My Own Ass Up Squad

MY "FRIENDS" THE I CAN'T BACK MY OWN ASS UP SQUAD

Meet the Rational Response Squad. There was a moment there when I got a flood of friends requests from atheists (not surprising seeing as I'm no friend to any god...or man for that matter), and these dickweeds were part of the deluge. According to their profile, they will respond to "irrational behavior" for you. Here's a thought: if you can't defend your own beliefs, then maybe you should seriously rethink why you believe in them rather than appeal to a bunch of internet fools to fight your battles. Before I give you the lowdown on these meat sacks, allow me to make one thing quite clear: reptiles are notoriously godless beasts. There are a lot of points on which I would probably agree with the asshole squad if they actually made objective points rather than angry screeds. It's one thing to have a little fun at religion's expense or engage in thought provoking discussion, but angry rants are an entirely different beast. Regardless, belief is belief, no matter how well justified it is, and no one should go cramming their beliefs down anyone else's thought hole. My position is: science is science, and theology is theology. Scientific research should be presented as science, and religious premises should be presented as theology. If everyone sticks to that, then I'm satisfied. The problem is people are not doing that these days.

Anyway, let's forget about me and get back to the cry-baby squad. It was in fact these dickheads that inspired me to enter myself in that asinine MySpace profile contest (Please tell me I'm pretty!!!). They entered themselves for best political cause, and they've bulletinized MySpace like crazy to let everyone know about that. Now that in and of itself is a little scary. Atheism should not be a political cause, just as Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hindu, and all of the rest should not be political causes. Politics should be about policies that are fair and beneficial to people of any faith. It's true that in the

United States

, Christianity has writhed its way into the obscenely obese gut of American politics (although I suspect it's all for show). It is extremely unsettling that religious institutions are given favors by policy makers and creationism is trying to masquerade as science. That, however, does not make it okay for atheism to attempt the same thing. Atheists can be just as nasty as Christians.

Most recently these jerkoffs have been crying about their Wikipedia entry getting deleted. Let's focus on a couple statements that they've made about all this, "One charge claiming the information on the page isn't verifiable, this is just silly, anyone who wants to verify our page can take a few minutes to research." Okay, I guess this is a rather silly claim, not because the information isn't verifiable but because I don't see a whole lot of information there. From what I can tell their website is nothing more that an arena for atheists to spout off about how pissed off they are about Christianity (and other religions to a lesser degree), and their MySpace is simply banners and propaganda promoting themselves. Hmmm...not very informative. Anyway, I haven't been able to find any references to published research on either their website or their MySpace.

Here's another statement the asswipe squad makes, "Another charge is that we use myspace as a homepage, however RationalResponders.com is our website which gets 30 new members per day and represents the largest growing atheist community in the world." First of all, on what data are you basing that last statement? Who is keeping tabs on the number of members on atheist forums? You've already claimed to be able to verify your information, so verify that bitches. Now let's tackle the first part of that statement. I've got a website, and I've got a MySpace. The website came first. In fact the whole reason I created a MySpace for myself is because of the MySpace story on the website. I never wanted to be one of those MySpace freaks for whom I bear nothing but contempt. However, ever since I set up this MySpace, my website has been getting a lot more hits. In fact, some of my "friends" didn’t even know that I had a website (come on guys look up at the address bar; it doesn't say http://www.myspace.com now does it?). So, having a website doesn't mean that you are not a MySpace phenomenon (they even have a profile award banner on their website to vote for their MySpace page. Hey assholes, this screams "MySpace phenomenon!").

One last observation about the crusty dickhole squad. Awhile ago they were posting bulletins asking for people to join their forum to debate creationists for them because they did not have the time to research creationist claims in order to refute them. Do us all a favor - if you are not qualified to make an argument on a subject, don't set up a website to argue that subject. There are plenty of well established websites out there taking on creationism anyway, and they actually know what the fuck they are talking about. You are making the rest of us godless heathen concerned by impending theocracy, but unconcerned by personal beliefs, look bad. Really bad. If you call yourself rational, start acting rational. Giving a list of things that are irrational without explaining why they are irrational, is not exactly exercising that organon of reason that you claim to possess. In fact reason is persuading me to take a little action of my own against unsubstantiated blather, Space Dinosaur style...

[Audio = They were all doing the same (partial) by Collins and Harlan (Public Domain)]

Okay, maybe that wasn't reason, but reptiles aren't always the most rational of animals. Sorry assholes, but I'm getting sick and tired of pathetic primates telling me what to believe...even if it is something that I already believe anyway. If you actually provided a wealth of publications, studies, and data (or even if you were simply entertaining in some way) then I would be sympathetic to your cause, but all you seem to be doing is unsubstantiated decrying of all theology and begging for accolades because of it. That's just sad. Leave the promotion of atheism up to those who actually back their ass up.

*Okay, maybe I've been a little hard on these jerks. Apparently Richard Dawkins has agreed to pop in for an interview with them while on his book tour. While I still find them to be rather annoying, I am impressed by that (they are giving him money of course, but it's still quite a score). In fact I well may tune in if I've got the time. Of course none of this carnage is about being right or wrong; if you piss me of for any reason, you're fair game...I am an equal opportunity asshole.

*They made another attempt at redeeming themselves by posting a somewhat informative bulletin containing some evolution links (mostly popular press stuff, no actual research papers...but most people don't have access to research papers, so I’ll let that slide). I have two problems with this attempt however. 1. If you are going to bitch about people not understanding what a theory is, you should probably define it for them. 2. Work on your spelling and grammar. You clearly want to appear to be smarter than other people. If you want to feign superior intelligence, then you can't go writing things like this, "It's ashame that theory is so often confused with a claim yet to be proven, ignorance like this is inexcusable. The data to prove that evolution is occuring, is all around us." A sixth grader could find the flaws in these sentences. The guy who wrote this claims to be a biochemist. What crappy ass journals are accepting your papers? I certainly hope that you've spent more time editing those than you did editing that bulletin!