The Purpose:

The point of the following story is to support the claim that intelligent design is not science in response to the attempts made by several school boards to incorporate intelligent design into biology curricula (thankfully this trend seems to be reversing in light of the Dover trial decision).  This does not mean that it is not true (although it appears to be highly improbable given observations of the natural world, improbability is not the same as impossibility) only that it cannot be allowed to masquerade as science.  There is no intent to make statements on any religious beliefs.  There are many philosophically and sociologically interesting aspects of all creation narratives (remember that there are many of these accounts in addition to the Genesis account).  This is merely a silly story illustrating what science becomes when we allow ideas devoid of empirical evidence to gain scientific status

What follows here is a result of a vision that came to me several years ago.  At the time I did not know how to interpret this vision, so I expressed it in an artistic representation:

Other images followed in the path initiated by this masterwork, but they lacked coherence.  Recently I was informed about a theory of the origins of the universe as prophesized by the great Bobby Henderson.  In light of the Flying Spaghetti Monster theory, the meaning of my visions became clear.  In my humble opinion, the space dinosaur hypothesis serves as a natural extension of the Flying Spaghetti Monster theory of the origins of the universe.  My modest interpretation of the space dinosaur vision follows.

The Story:

In the beginning not only did the Flying Spaghetti Monster create a mountain, the trees, and a midget, but also brought into being the whole of the universe.  Having completed His work on Earth, He gave the Earth and the abundance of resources He had created on this planet to humans (of various statures).  Seeing that the Earth, humanity in particular, was less than perfect, He set out to create a utopian world on a distant planet in the Alpha Centauri system.  The Flying Spaghetti Monster created the first beasts to inhabit this planet, the space dinosaurs.  He was so pleased with their faithful yet mischievous attitudes that He supplied these great beasts with an abundance of tasty and intoxicating beverages, coming in many different varieties.

He then realized that the dinosaurs, large and fearsome as they were, would soon be very hungry.  Thus He supplied them with an abundance of different foods.  One such delicacy was the space bull.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster also realized that many of His beloved dinosaurs loved to swim, and thus He created for them a giant sea full of many different kinds of friendly animals to keep the dinosaurs company while they went for a swim.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster made many land-dwelling creatures as well so that the dinosaurs would have friends to invite to their numerous parties.  Perhaps the dinosaurs’ favorite friend was the space frog.  The space frog was always the life of the party and could drink anyone under the table.

He bestowed this world, His greatest of gifts, to His most beloved creations, the dinosaurs.  Trusting the superior wisdom and reverence of the dinosaurs, the Flying Spaghetti Monster left them to their own devices as He needed to attend to the insolence of humanity on Earth.  The dinosaurs and all of their friends prospered and flourished, living in accordance with the Noodly Way.

However, one day the dinosaurs received a communication from Earth.  This communication was sent by a platypus named Hermes who, upon witnessing countless acts of heresy and irreverence by the humans on Earth, was concerned for the fate of his planet.

The dinosaurs decided the best way to serve their Noodly Master was to travel to Earth to teach the humans His Noodly Way.  Via jet pack, the dinosaurs traveled the long distance from their home planet to Earth.

Immediately after their arrival, the dinosaurs first tried to reason with the humans explaining the greatness of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, creator of all things.  However, this only enraged the humans, for most of whom rationality was not a finely tuned skill.  The humans turned violent, and war between dinosaurs and humans quickly ensued.  The First War was long and brutal indeed, and heavy losses were suffered on both sides.

Finally an old salt, perhaps the first pirate (records of this time are patchy at best, and it appears that piracy dates back farther than all accepted documents would lead us to believe) approached the dinosaurs and informed them of a subversive group of swashbuckling humans who had stumbled upon the Truth while sailing the seas in search of booty.  Cronus, the leader of the dinosaurs, was skeptical, but Hermes assured him that this group of humans lived according to His Way, as far their limited understanding could determine.  The old salt gave Cronus a bottle of his very best rum, and this most wise and reverent dinosaur saw that these humans were indeed worthy of his respect.

Thus, a pact was formed between the pirates and the dinosaurs that ended the First War.  The agreement was that as long as the pirates would live out the glory of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the dinosaurs would agree to serve humanity in the manner displayed in the Kansas Museum of Science interpretation illustrated by the great prophet Bobby Henderson.

Some Conclusions:

I had always accepted evolutionary theory due to the insurmountable independent lines of empirical evidence supporting the theory, but I have seen that the Flying Spaghetti Monster theory satisfactorily explains the misguided nature of this evidence.  In addition, I feel that in light of the space dinosaur hypothesis under the Flying Spaghetti Monster theory, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is in fact a more robust scientific alternative to evolutionary theory than other Intelligent Design theories.  This is due to the fact that under Flying Spaghetti Monsterism including space dinosaurism, we have two independent examples of His design in the universe.  We need only to travel to the space dinosaur home-world in the Alpha Centauri system to observe an additional product of His design.

Acknowledgments:

Thank you to Bobby Henderson for putting space dinosaurism into context.  Please visit www.venganza.org for a complete outline of Henderson’s compelling theory and to support his noble cause.

Additional thanks to the good people at Microsoft for intelligently designing the flexible and powerful program Paint, without which I would not have been able to share my visions with the world!